Dehydrated Nonsense

Similar to the Things I Would Really Suck At List here’s another on-going list of self-awareness… Here are the things I have never been or done, but would probably really kick ass at:

Surviving a Zombie Attack. This really depends on what sort of Zombies they are. I think Voodoo or Necromancy born Zombies would be harder to avoid or defeat… Correct me if I’m wrong… but I’m pretty sure you need to be by their grave to bind them back into it. Flesh or brain eating Zombies shouldn’t be that much of an issue. Especially considering where I live. It’s freezing cold winter that destroys humans 8 months of the year. Now consider the typical virus-Zombie. Not very bright, and would freeze to death. I’d hole myself up in a Wal-Mart or Costco for the warm months and wait until a freezing cold day in Winter. Then I smash their heads off with baseball bats while they’re frozen and burn the remains. Perhaps I’ve said too much…
Shooting a gun. I haven’t had the chance to do this yet… but I’ve played enough Sharpshooter, Police 911, and Lazer Tag to think that if the need arose, you better watch yourself.
Singing in an Indie parody lounge band. I think one of the only reasons I haven’t formed a band already is the fact that there isn’t a huge market for Indie parody lounge bands. I’m talking like a chick band… think Tegan and Sara meets Kimya Dawson meets Imogen Heap meets Richard Cheese. It would rock your socks and make all senstitive ears bleed. Who doesn’t love that?
Being a dude. Probably the easiest thing on my list. Just wear some band shirts/dress shirts and jeans and I’m set. Peeing standing up? Please. How hard could that possibly be? You get to fight more often, other dudes don’t take offence when you say something tongue-in-cheek, and ruthlessly tease your fellow dudes. Look, I’ve been practicing: “Your mom said that last night! While I was doing her.” and “You know how you’re gay? Two words: Those shoes.”
Voicing cute characters in Video Games. Do you need a replacement for Daisy in Mario Party? I’m your girl! A happy high-pitched girl voice? I can do it! My voice has been compared to Daisy saying: “I’m a winner!” or the female character in Fable 2 going: “Yeah!”. But let’s not stop there… Want a vicious female assassian with a cute high-pitched girl voice? I can do that too. I’m that diverse.
Living in a Biodome for a month. I’m not talking creepy, self-sufficent, drink your own pee Biodome… but just one of those ‘you have to be sequestered from most of society except these 6 other people’ Biodomes. Where part of it is a rainforest… kind of like Biodome the movie. (Pauly Shore not allowed in the dome for obvious reasons) I don’t think I’d mind it that much… in fact, I think I’d be rather content.

As always, suggestions are welcome. More to come as they’re thought up.